Lovely Lubricant

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Wetter is always better

I used to think that if I used lubricant there was something wrong with me, that I wasn’t getting turned on enough or my lady garden just didn’t work like everyone else’s. Rubbish.

Lube is the most important sex aid in the world. Whether you’re post-baby, pre-baby, menopausal, neither, flying solo or with a partner, you must have lube to hand!!

Again, this was down to me not understanding how my bits actually work!

The technical term for our genitals not responding to how turned on we are in our heads is called non-concordance. It’s a thing, AND it happens to women more often than being in concordance, which is when we experience physical arousal at the same time as being mentally turned on.

It’s perfectly normal not to get dripping wet, especially if you have had a baby, menopausal, are more stressed out than usual or it’s a day of the week ending in ‘y’. 

There is one easy answer: LUBE UP.


But not any lube will do…

The trick is, get a good’n. PLEASE.


KY gets too sticky and can aggravate the skin. Also, anything with glucose in (flavoured numbers, famous condom brands etc.) will go sticky much faster and can irritate – the exact opposite of what want!!

Just as people have allergies or sensitivities to skincare products, the same goes for lube and your genitals. A really good rule of thumb is, the more ingredients there are, the more irritation to someone with sensitivities or allergies. So my advice is, stick with the simple stuff and test a tiny amount on your arm or stomach before using it on your genitals — just in case.

There are three main kinds of lube: Water-based, oil-based, and silicone-based.

Water-based: Water is the main ingredient, which makes it soothing and great for sensitive skin, plus it's easy to clean off your body and sheets. Water-based lubes are compatible with all sex toys, but they're not great for the shower/bath (since they wash right off) and they're not very long-lasting.

Silicone-based: Silicone lubes have a unique silky feel and they're usually hypoallergenic. Since the silicone molecules are too large to absorb into skin, the lube is super slippery and lasts much longer, so you don't need to re-apply as often, but heads up: silicone lube will actually ruin silicone sex toys.

Oil-based: Oil-based lubes feel great and you can find them in your kitchen (organic coconut is my go-to for Mindful Touch) and leave your skin super soft. However, they're not safe to use with condoms. While it's good for masturbation and massage, it's also oil, so it'll be hard to clean and it can stain sheets or clothing.

My personal favourites are Pjur (silicone) and Liquid Silk (water-based). Everyone is different, so try them out and see what feels good!

Super, slippery loves.

Caroline. x

p.s. For more goodness, tap here to join our IM Woman Tribe, where we talk frankly and openly about how our bodies actually work, myth-bust years of damaging cultural advice and strive to love and accept our bodies exactly as they are, right now.

I mean why wouldn’t you??

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