Sharing is Caring
‘Photo or it didn’t happen’ my girls often text. Whether that was prepping for a date night, adventure or sexcapade.
(I just googled, synonyms for escapade include; antic, fling, caper folly, frolic and, my favourite, mischief. Entirely accurate Caroline)
Followed the next day, our mantra: ‘sharing is caring’
It feels good to share stories, whether there’s a little ego stroke bragging going on, pain, upset, joy, fears or just plain old gory details, stories.
Stories are an intrinsic part of our societies and culture. Before man could write we could listen, and a good storyteller was revered.
It is believed by most historians and psychologists that storytelling is one of the many things that define and bind our humanity. Humans are perhaps the only animals that create and tell stories.
They allow us to bond, relate and process and learn from our experiences. They make us laugh, cry and everything in between.
Even more cruicially, the stories we tell ourselves define our behaviour and how we experience life. I share some of my stories and their impact often and regularly.
Because you can understand why I do what I do, what I’ve learned, so you can relate to my experience in some way, to have a giggle (I love to entertain).
But primarily, it takes the power away from any shame.
Brené Brown talks beautifully here about shame. Shame and fear hold us back exponentially, if there is something in your life you wouldn’t want on tomorrows headline newspaper, chances are the shame you feel around this is what is holding you back, whether that is in your career, love life, how you look after yourself.
What fuels shame? Secrecy, silence and judgement.
What is the antidote to shame? EMPATHY
It is my driving force in what I do, how I speak to myself and how my clients grow and let go. ‘I have never told anyone that before…. I feel so much better. Thank you’ is always the first turning point.
My beautiful mentor and friend Junior Zoschke taught me the following guide to process shame or anything that is holding us back, and well because sharing is caring:
Notice the thought behind the feeling of shame. Can you notice where in our body we can feel it – does it feel flat or heavy, stuck in our throats.
Get them out, write them down, in a journal, on a scrap of paper you can burn after, in your notes on your phone, voice record them. The trick is here to get them out of your head.
Now you don’t have to post on the interweb for everyone to see (but if it feels good do!), sharing with anyone who will pour buckets of empathy on you, whether that’s a friend or a partner or a coach.
Shame cannot survive with empathy.
Learning to let go of shame allows us to live authentically, be ourselves, not cower in fear behind what we think the world wants us to be.
Shame is so culturally interlinked with sex, especially for women. It is crucial for us to understand our own stories to become the sexually empowered and feel free to develop deep intimate connections with ourselves and our partners.
To find out how you can work with me about letting go shame, understanding and loving your body and have a nosey here, and make sure you have jumped into the IM Woman Tribe for our latest, shame diminishing 'Asking for a Friend' Q+A sessions.
p.s. I got myself into debt setting this business up and relied on my parents for support for a little longer than I was comfortable with, the shame story in my head read that made me an awful person, no one would want to work with someone who did that... I was wrong.
*waves wand* Shame be gone!